Cats With Twenty Nicknames Struggle With Identity Crisis As They Stop Responding To All of Their Names
Cats can collect nicknames faster than most people collect coffee mugs, and Fluffy is proof. One day he was answering to a normal pet name, and the next he was apparently also Fluffles, Admiral Fluffington, and a handful of other titles no one could keep straight.
His owner says the constant name changes have left him confused and less responsive, turning everyday life in the apartment into a small but very strange identity crisis. The more nicknames pile up, the less interested he seems in any of them.
Now the question is whether Fluffy has simply had enough of the whole thing. Read on.
When I first got Fluffles, he would come whenever I called,” she said tearfully. “But now, my poor Admiral Fluffington doesn’t even know who he is anymore. He spends all his time wandering aimlessly around my apartment, a shell of the psychopathic kitten he once was. He doesn’t even like to spontaneously bite me in my sleep now.”
That nickname list clearly got out of hand.
“We see this a lot in felines, unfortunately,”
explained veterinarian Catherine Greenwood, who has looked after Fluffernut Squash, The Third Earl of Fluffex and Grand High Sheriff of Fluffingham, his entire life.
“As the years go on and the names build up, the cat will begin to lose any and all sense of who they are. It gets worse as the names pile up. The only cure is for the owner to stop coming up with more and more adorable nicknames. So it’s usually quite hopeless. Poor Fuzzyberry.”
It’s the same “name game” vibe as the 50 funny cat names that always make Vets laugh.
“I’ve never known her cat’s name,”
he huffed.
“I lost count after the tenth version. The names don’t even make sense, what the heck is it supposed to think when you call it ‘Noodle Pants?’ Hell, my cat doesn’t even have a name. I call it ‘Cat.’ It knows exactly who it is.”
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