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Redditor Asks Grandparents Who Raised Her Not To Bring Their Dogs When They Come To Visit Her, But They Won’t Come Without Them

Damjan
by Damjan
26 Oct 2022

Dog ownership implies a lot of planning and logistics. And we are not just talking about buying food and taking your dog to the groomer and vet’s office.

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The hardest part is planning and executing our trips. You have to find a pet-friendly place to stay.

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And we are not just talking about Airbnb and hotels. Nope, even when you are visiting friends and close family, you have to make sure your dog is welcome there.

And we can’t emphasize “welcome” enough. One Redditor has a problem – she is going to have some unwanted guests.

Namely, her grandparents want to bring their dogs when they come to visit, and she is not happy about it. But she feels like she owes them because they’ve practically raised her:

“I’ve lived with my grandparents since I was 5. I’m now 25F. I have my own condo with my husband and 2 kids. In 2019, they sold their house and moved to Washington State. I decided to stay in NY. They’ve come to visit once so far, last year when we first moved into the condo.

Since then, I’ve had the entire place renovated. New floors, new area rugs, etc. I just got a new couch delivered yesterday.”

The issue is they have 2 dogs that they insist on bringing with them. OP says:

“I don’t feel comfortable having them here. They had these dogs while I lived with them, so I know them well enough to know that they have a tendency to urinate on the floor and on the rug. I will not allow that here. That’s why I don’t have a dog.”

Read the full story below:

OP asks:

OP asks:
Reddit
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Her grandparents practically raised her. She now has a condo and they want to come for a visit.

Her grandparents practically raised her. She now has a condo and they want to come for a visit.
Reddit
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OP recently renovated and doesn't want their untrained dogs ruining her carpets and furniture

OP recently renovated and doesn't want their untrained dogs ruining her carpets and furniture
Reddit

The Role of Pets in Family Dynamics

The Redditor's situation with her grandparents and their untrained dogs highlights the complexities of family dynamics when it comes to pets. Research from the University of Pennsylvania indicates that pets often serve as emotional anchors within families, but they can also create tension when their behaviors disrupt established routines.

Understanding this dynamic can shed light on why the Redditor feels strongly about the issue.

She has small kids who crawl on the floor, and it is just unsanitary

She has small kids who crawl on the floor, and it is just unsanitary
Reddit

OP told her grandparents about her concerns, and now they are mad at her

OP told her grandparents about her concerns, and now they are mad at her
Reddit

Redditors agree: her house, her rules

Redditors agree: her house, her rules
Reddit

This tension may also reflect deeper psychological processes, such as the need for control within one's living space. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology suggests that individuals often feel a sense of ownership over their home environment, which can lead to conflict when outside influences disrupt that space.

By recognizing these feelings, individuals can approach family discussions with greater empathy.

OP says her grandparents refuse to have the dogs boarded

OP says her grandparents refuse to have the dogs boarded
Reddit

That is just part of pet ownership

That is just part of pet ownership
Reddit

This visit is not obligatory

This visit is not obligatory
Reddit

Approaching Family Discussions Constructively

To navigate these tensions, establishing clear communication is essential. Research suggests that framing requests in positive terms can help mitigate defensiveness. For instance, expressing the desire for a calm visiting environment for everyone can encourage cooperation.

Additionally, setting boundaries regarding pet behaviors before visits can help manage expectations and reduce potential conflicts.

Some Redditors simply don't go to places their dogs are not welcomed in, but have no hard feelings about it

Some Redditors simply don't go to places their dogs are not welcomed in, but have no hard feelings about it
Reddit

Maybe the dogs should stay with the uncle?

Maybe the dogs should stay with the uncle?
Reddit

Well, he is not too thrilled also. And the reasons are the same

Well, he is not too thrilled also. And the reasons are the same
Reddit

Your dogs don't have to go everywhere with you

Your dogs don't have to go everywhere with you
Reddit

Pet ownership brings some changes

Pet ownership brings some changes
Reddit

Where there is a will, there is a way:

Where there is a will, there is a way:
Reddit

It is understandable that some pet owners want to take their pets wherever they go. After all, they are family members. However, they should be aware that not everyone feels the same about animals.

And it is simply not okay to impose your views on others. OP’s reluctance to have untrained dogs in her home is completely understandable. But will her grandparents understand that?

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the emotional weight pets carry within family dynamics. It's essential for family members to engage in open dialogue about their needs and expectations to foster a supportive environment.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

Ultimately, addressing these family dynamics with empathy and clear communication can create a more harmonious environment for all parties involved. By fostering understanding, families can navigate the complexities of pet ownership together.

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