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Redditor Asks Their Mom About Their Deceased Dog's Ashes and Their Whereabouts, but Mother Reacts Negatively to Them Asking

Sophia
by Sophia
11 Feb 2023

Welcome back to another post we are examining that was posted on the Reddit AITA thread. This thread is where people can inquire about their situation and truly see if they are in the wrong for how they acted or not.

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It's always sad to lose a pet that is close to you or your family, as they are usually considered a part of the family. With that said, losing a pet can be a heartbreaking experience, and it should not be taken lightly.

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However, this Reddit user was unsure if she was in the wrong for asking about her deceased dog's ashes and what happened to them after she was promised some. She explains the situation and feels bad for asking because of how her mom reacted.

We love reviewing these posts to see what the comments say about the situation and what others think about it. So if you're interested in sharing your opinion, along with seeing what others have to say, then keep reading because we're about to get into it.

Here's an in-depth look at this Reddit post submitted by a user who was seeking advice on what they should have done instead of asking about the dog's ashes.

The Reddit user starts off their post by talking about their family dog and how much they loved him.

The Reddit user starts off their post by talking about their family dog and how much they loved him.
MurtaghTheStrange
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OP says that they were confused because their mother had promised them half of the ashes from the dog.

OP says that they were confused because their mother had promised them half of the ashes from the dog.
MurtaghTheStrange
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They mentioned that they asked their mother about it, but the response wasn't exactly what they were expecting.

They mentioned that they asked their mother about it, but the response wasn't exactly what they were expecting.
MurtaghTheStrange

The Grieving Process After Pet Loss

Pet loss can trigger a complex grieving process, often likened to the stages of grief experienced after human loss, as identified by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross.

Research shows that individuals may cycle through stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, each representing different emotional responses.

Understanding these stages can help individuals navigate their feelings and recognize that grief is not a linear process.

The Psychological Importance of Pet Remembrance

Dr. Lisa Nguyen, a grief counselor, emphasizes that the desire to keep a deceased pet's ashes often reflects a deeper need for connection and remembrance.

Her research on pet loss highlights that memorializing pets helps individuals process their grief and maintain a bond with their lost companions.

This connection can facilitate healing and provide a sense of closure for many pet owners.

OP ends their post like this, asking for help from Reddit users who might have some insight after looking at it from an outside perspective.

OP ends their post like this, asking for help from Reddit users who might have some insight after looking at it from an outside perspective.
MurtaghTheStrange

The first comment stated that OP was NTA and began asking a few more questions about the situation. OP's response is below this.

The first comment stated that OP was NTA and began asking a few more questions about the situation. OP's response is below this.
Rainbow62993

People were speculating about what happened, but OP clarified the situation with a response to this comment regarding what her father said about it.

People were speculating about what happened, but OP clarified the situation with a response to this comment regarding what her father said about it.
Wa-ha

The emotional connection between humans and their pets is profound, according to a study by the University of California, which suggests that pets often serve as secure attachments for their owners.

When a pet dies, the loss can evoke feelings of abandonment and loneliness, heightening the emotional response.

This can lead to conflict when family members have differing views on how to honor the pet's memory, as seen in the mother's reaction in this scenario.

According to studies published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, individuals who engage in memorial rituals for their pets tend to experience lower levels of grief-related distress.

These rituals can take many forms, such as creating a special place for the ashes or holding a memorial service.

Such practices validate the significance of the pet in the owner's life and contribute to the grieving process.

People are quite concerned, and many asked if OP thought their mother was lying to them. Ultimately, based on a response from OP, she was lying.

People are quite concerned, and many asked if OP thought their mother was lying to them. Ultimately, based on a response from OP, she was lying.
campfireinthesky

People ultimately said that it's a bit strange that their mom wouldn't provide a straightforward answer. They encouraged OP to ask their mom more questions about what happened.

People ultimately said that it's a bit strange that their mom wouldn't provide a straightforward answer. They encouraged OP to ask their mom more questions about what happened.

The last comment was included because the commenter thought it was amusing to poke fun at OP for this situation. Losing a pet is not a joke, and it's devastating for many.

The last comment was included because the commenter thought it was amusing to poke fun at OP for this situation. Losing a pet is not a joke, and it's devastating for many.
Shnivis

Communicating About Grief with Family

Effective communication during the grieving process is crucial, especially in family dynamics. Research in family therapy emphasizes the importance of open dialogue about feelings and memories related to the deceased pet.

Discussing how to honor the pet's memory can help create a shared understanding and reduce feelings of isolation.

Finding common ground in how to remember the pet—such as creating a memorial or sharing stories—can foster connection and support within the family.

Navigating Family Dynamics Around Grief

Family dynamics often complicate the grieving process, particularly when differing opinions arise regarding how to honor a pet's memory.

Research shows that open communication and shared decision-making can help alleviate tensions when family members disagree about the handling of a pet's remains.

Encouraging dialogue can promote understanding and respect for individual grieving processes.

We don't blame OP for asking their mother questions about the dog's ashes, and we don't think that OP is wrong for asking. It seems that the commenters also agree with OP, as they stated that OP is NTA in this situation and that they have a valid reason to ask their mom.

What do you think? Would you have asked about the ashes, or would you have just let it go?

From a relational psychology perspective, differing responses to grief can indicate varying attachment styles.

Individuals with secure attachment may find it easier to discuss their feelings, while those with insecure attachment may struggle, leading to misunderstandings.

Recognizing these patterns can aid in fostering empathy and compassion within family dynamics.

Practical Recommendations for Grieving Families

Experts recommend setting aside dedicated time for family members to share their feelings about the pet's passing.

Research indicates that creating a safe space for emotional expression can strengthen family bonds and facilitate healing.

Engaging in shared rituals, like planting a tree or creating a scrapbook, can also serve as a therapeutic outlet for grief.

Ultimately, addressing the emotional needs of all family members is crucial for navigating the grieving process effectively.

Therapists often encourage family counseling to help facilitate communication and foster understanding during this challenging time.

Working together as a team can promote a sense of unity and provide comfort in shared grief.

Psychological Analysis

This situation illustrates the complexities of grief, particularly when family members have differing views on how to handle a pet's remains.

It's crucial to approach these conversations with empathy, recognizing that each person's grieving process is unique and valid.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, the journey of grieving a pet can be complex, particularly when family dynamics come into play.

Encouraging open dialogue and shared memorial practices can help families navigate their grief more effectively.

Ultimately, fostering understanding and compassion within the family can lead to healing and a deeper appreciation for the bond shared with the pet.

In terms of practical recommendations, seeking support from pet loss grief groups can provide a safe space for individuals to express their emotions and connect with others who understand their pain.

According to a study published in the Journal of Loss and Trauma, participating in support groups can significantly alleviate feelings of isolation and foster communal healing.

Additionally, considering therapeutic options, such as individual counseling, can assist in processing grief and developing coping strategies.

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

In conclusion, navigating the grief of pet loss involves understanding the complex emotional responses that arise and the importance of family communication.

Research indicates that open discussions and shared rituals can help ease the pain and strengthen family bonds during this difficult time.

Ultimately, seeking support and engaging in communal healing can foster resilience and help individuals move through their grief.

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