Refusing to Leave Cat for Friends Party: AITA?

by Holly

2025-03-24 06:17

Are you the jerk in a situation where you have to choose between your pet and your friend's party? A Reddit user faced this dilemma when her friend asked her to get rid of her cat for the night due to a guest's allergy.

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Despite offering compromises, the user's friend insisted that the cat should be sent elsewhere for the event. The user felt conflicted as moving the cat to her parents' house was not feasible due to the distance.

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Despite agreeing to host the party, tensions rose when the friend accused her of ruining the event and complained to mutual friends. The user questioned if she was at fault and sought advice on Reddit's AITA thread.

Redditors weighed in, with many siding with the user and suggesting that the party should be relocated if the cat's presence posed such a problem. Some criticized the friend for being ungrateful and unreasonable, advising the user to stand their ground.

As the discussion unfolded, the consensus leaned towards supporting the user's decision to prioritize her pet's well-being over the party. The thread highlighted the complexities of balancing friendships and pet ownership, sparking a debate on boundaries and respect in social interactions.

The user's predicament resonated with many, prompting reflections on loyalty, communication, and mutual understanding in relationships.

Original Post

I (24f) have been friends with a girl that I'll call Hayley (24f) since high school. For a few years we didn't get to see each other much because we went to college on opposite sides of the country, but I moved to her city last year so we really got to catch up with each other.
Hayley will be turning 25 in a week so we - along with some other friends - started planning her birthday party a while ago. She wanted to have a rather big party so that she could invite all of her friends groups, but we couldn't find anywhere to have it and she lives in a small apartment.
I on the other hand have a house, it's not that big but it's big enough to host the party. So our friends started bringing it up and said that we could throw the party at my house.

I was fine with that. I did find it kinda weird that they were the one to bring it up, because I personally wouldn't suggest throwing a party in someone else's house unless they were the one to suggest it, but it didn't really matter.
So I said yes, my only conditions were that the party didn't turn into chaos, that no one got too drunk, and that they helped me clean up the next day. Everyone was fine with that so we agreed on it.
Yesterday, Hayley sent me a text to tell me how many people would be there. That's when she asked me if I could get my cat out of the house for the night, because one of her friends from college is allergic.

I told her that I didn't have anywhere else to leave him, but that I could make sure that he stayed upstairs while we were downstairs. I also told her that my cat is very shy and easily scared so there's no way he'd get close to her friend.
She then told me that I could just leave him with my parents and then go back to get him the next day. My parent's house is about an hour and a half drive and there's just no way I'd drive a total of 6 hours in one weekend.
I told her that it really wasn't possible for me to leave him with my parents but that he would be locked upstairs and I'd deep clean the house to make sure there's no cat hair anywhere. I also told her that she should've told me earlier and I could've found another solution, but now the party is in less than a week.

She told me that I wasn't being helpful and that I was ruining her party, and she's been bitching about me to a lot of our mutual friends. I told her that I had no obligation to let her do the party at my house and I kindly accepted to do so, so the least she could do was to be grateful.
She hasn't replied since. Most of our friends agree with me, but I also feel a bit guilty.
I don't know if I'm in the wrong here and I don't know what else I can do.