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Frustrated Dad Returns His Daughter's Emotional Support Dog Because She Was Using Her Depression As An Excuse For Neglecting Him

Jesse
by Jesse
2 Nov 2022

The World Health Organization estimates that one in seven teens suffers from mental health conditions. Although the internet has made it easy for people to share their struggles with mental health, teenagers still face a lot of stigma surrounding it.

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They are also less likely to ask for help from their peers, parents, or school counselors. Sometimes, it falls to parents to recognize the symptoms and intervene before their teenage children resort to risky behaviors.

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A 47-year-old dad posted on Reddit about his 17-year-old daughter's recent bout with depression and anxiety. She had been having a difficult time at school and asked if she could adopt a dog for emotional support.

OP suggested that she should try resuming her therapy once more, but she disagreed. She didn't like her last therapist and refused to look for another one.

OP was against adopting a dog because he knew his daughter could overlook her responsibilities. He also made it clear that he wouldn't be helping out with the dog since he was typically exhausted from work.

His wife was supportive of their daughter's need for an emotional support dog. She told him it could be what she needed to lift her spirits.

OP Finally Agreed but Made Sure She Was Getting a Low-Maintenance Dog

OP Finally Agreed but Made Sure She Was Getting a Low-Maintenance Dog
u/throwawaywife29292
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The Dog Immediately Bonded with OP's Daughter and His Wife but Didn't Warm Up to Him

The Dog Immediately Bonded with OP's Daughter and His Wife but Didn't Warm Up to Him
u/throwawaywife29292
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Eventually, He Started Getting Out of His Leash During Walks and Destroying Items at Home. His Daughter Also Neglected Taking Him Out, So OP Came Home to Poop and Pee Staining Their New Carpet.

Eventually, He Started Getting Out of His Leash During Walks and Destroying Items at Home. His Daughter Also Neglected Taking Him Out, So OP Came Home to Poop and Pee Staining Their New Carpet.
u/throwawaywife29292

Understanding Emotional Support Animals

Emotional support animals (ESAs) can provide significant therapeutic benefits for individuals experiencing mental health issues.

Research indicates that the presence of an ESA can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, creating a sense of stability and comfort.

However, the responsibility of caring for an animal can also trigger feelings of guilt and inadequacy if the owner struggles with their mental health.

OP Warned His Daughter Twice That If She Continued to Neglect Her Dog, He Would Take Him Back to the Shelter

She broke her promise to do better, and OP grew tired of coming home to a soiled house. He brought the dog back to the shelter when his daughter was out of the house.

She was upset when she got home and didn't see the dog. She told OP that he had brought her severe depression back, and they haven't spoken since.

OP Warned His Daughter Twice That If She Continued to Neglect Her Dog, He Would Take Him Back to the Shelter
u/throwawaywife29292

Many Comments Pointed Out That Everyone in the Story Failed the Dog. They Asked OP Why He Agreed to Get the Dog in the First Place.

Many Comments Pointed Out That Everyone in the Story Failed the Dog. They Asked OP Why He Agreed to Get the Dog in the First Place.
MyBrainSparkles

OP's Wife Assured Him This Was What Their Daughter Needed, and His Daughter Promised to Be Responsible for the Dog She Wanted

OP's Wife Assured Him This Was What Their Daughter Needed, and His Daughter Promised to Be Responsible for the Dog She Wanted
throwawaywife29292

The father's decision to return the emotional support dog underscores a common struggle faced by individuals with mental health challenges.

Studies show that the pressure to care for a pet can sometimes exacerbate feelings of inadequacy, particularly in those who are already feeling overwhelmed.

Effective coping strategies and professional support are crucial for individuals in this situation to navigate their feelings of guilt and stress.

Would One Conversation About Responsibility Change His Daughter's Treatment of the Dog? We Will Never Know, but This Commenter Said It Wouldn't Have Hurt.

Would One Conversation About Responsibility Change His Daughter's Treatment of the Dog? We Will Never Know, but This Commenter Said It Wouldn't Have Hurt.
HeyCanYouNotThanks

OP Replied That His Daughter Knew the Full Care and Training of the Animal Would Have Fallen to Her Because She Knew How Long OP's Work Hours Are, Plus His Wife Is Also Going Back to Work

OP Replied That His Daughter Knew the Full Care and Training of the Animal Would Have Fallen to Her Because She Knew How Long OP's Work Hours Are, Plus His Wife Is Also Going Back to Work
throwawaywife29292

Returning the Dog Was Definitely the Right Move. He Wasn't Getting the Time and Attention He Deserved, Hence the Destruction of Items. If OP's Daughter Craves Interaction with Animals, She Can Try Volunteering at the Shelter.

Returning the Dog Was Definitely the Right Move. He Wasn't Getting the Time and Attention He Deserved, Hence the Destruction of Items. If OP's Daughter Craves Interaction with Animals, She Can Try Volunteering at the Shelter.
SienteElBern

The Importance of Therapeutic Support

Therapeutic support can be vital in helping individuals develop the coping skills necessary to manage their mental health challenges.

Dr. Judith Beck emphasizes the role of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) in helping individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns that can hinder their ability to care for themselves and their pets.

This therapeutic approach can empower individuals to develop healthier perspectives on their responsibilities and emotional well-being.

However, He Essentially Blindsided Her and Took Away Her Chance to Say Goodbye to the Dog When He Returned It Without Her Knowledge

However, He Essentially Blindsided Her and Took Away Her Chance to Say Goodbye to the Dog When He Returned It Without Her Knowledge
SienteElBern

One Thing OP Has to Focus On Is Encouraging His Daughter to Go Back to Therapy. The Dog May Have Helped Her Feel Better for a While, but It Wasn't the Solution to Her Depression and Anxiety.

One Thing OP Has to Focus On Is Encouraging His Daughter to Go Back to Therapy. The Dog May Have Helped Her Feel Better for a While, but It Wasn't the Solution to Her Depression and Anxiety.
OkayBluez

She Is Not Completely Blameless Because She Is Old Enough to Know That the Dog She Claimed Was Her Best Friend and Emotional Support Animal Depended on Her for Its Every Need

She Is Not Completely Blameless Because She Is Old Enough to Know That the Dog She Claimed Was Her Best Friend and Emotional Support Animal Depended on Her for Its Every Need
Deucalion666

Encouraging individuals to seek professional help can be a crucial step in navigating the complexities of emotional support and pet ownership.

Therapists can help clients create realistic expectations regarding pet care, balancing their mental health needs with their responsibilities to their animals.

Support groups can also provide valuable insights and shared experiences, helping individuals feel less isolated in their struggles.

It Couldn't Have Been a Nice Experience for a Dog Living in a House Where He Wasn't Cherished

It Couldn't Have Been a Nice Experience for a Dog Living in a House Where He Wasn't Cherished
gillebro

We Can't Deny That OP Handled Things the Wrong Way. He Did Warn His Daughter What Would Happen If She Kept Neglecting Her Dog, but He Shouldn't Have Returned the Dog Without Telling Her.

We Can't Deny That OP Handled Things the Wrong Way. He Did Warn His Daughter What Would Happen If She Kept Neglecting Her Dog, but He Shouldn't Have Returned the Dog Without Telling Her.
LemonRoll_Rabbit

It Appears That No One in Their Family Really Discussed What Goes Into Taking Care of a Dog or Even What They Should Be Doing Collectively Once the Dog Was at Home

It Appears That No One in Their Family Really Discussed What Goes Into Taking Care of a Dog or Even What They Should Be Doing Collectively Once the Dog Was at Home
LemonRoll_Rabbit

Your mental health does not give you a pass to be a bad person. OP's daughter was wrong to say that she neglected to take care of her dog because she was depressed — a dog is a living being and deserves more than half-hearted attention.

But this isn't really their biggest problem. OP and his wife have to ensure their daughter gets the help she needs, and maybe when she gets better, the subject of fostering a dog can be brought to the table.

Psychological Analysis

This situation reflects the complex emotional landscape surrounding pet ownership and mental health.

Many individuals find themselves overwhelmed by the dual responsibilities of managing their mental health while caring for a pet, which can lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

Analysis generated by AI

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

These insights align with established research on the role of emotional support animals in mental health treatment.

According to the American Psychological Association, understanding the responsibilities associated with pet ownership is essential for individuals with mental health challenges.

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