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Redditor Is Going Nuts Living With Mother Who Doesn't Train Her Dogs, And Is Afraid Of Overreacting

Jesse
by Jesse
9 Feb 2023

A 28-year-old Redditor thought moving back in with their mom would be temporary, but the daily chaos has them spiraling. They’re already open about not enjoying living there, and their mom knows it. Still, the real breaking point is the one thing nobody seems to be addressing: the dogs.

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Here’s the problem, the dogs are not potty trained, so they go to the bathroom inside the house, constantly. It’s not just “a little messy,” it’s an ongoing routine that turns the home into a stress machine, and OP is stuck watching it happen while their mom just… doesn’t train them.

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Now OP is wondering if they’re overreacting, right as the comments start piling up.

OP starts off this post by saying that they don't enjoy living with their mother and that their mother is aware of this.

OP starts off this post by saying that they don't enjoy living with their mother and that their mother is aware of this.
isobelgoudie
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They go on to say that the biggest issue they have is that their mother doesn't train her dogs at all.

They go on to say that the biggest issue they have is that their mother doesn't train her dogs at all.
isobelgoudie

They mention that the dogs are not potty trained and that they use the restroom inside the house all the time.

They mention that the dogs are not potty trained and that they use the restroom inside the house all the time.
isobelgoudie

Living with Untrained Pets: A Psychological Challenge

Living with untrained dogs can significantly affect one’s mental well-being, as studies show that chaotic environments may lead to increased stress and anxiety.

Research published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology highlights that noise and disorder can exacerbate feelings of helplessness, particularly in shared living situations.

This can create a cycle where stress leads to conflict, further intensifying the chaotic living environment.

OP says their mom is aware they don’t like living there, but the untrained dogs are what really make every day feel like a battle.

Living with untrained dogs can create a chaotic environment that significantly heightens stress levels, especially for individuals more attuned to disorder. In the Redditor's situation, the presence of untrained pets is not just a minor inconvenience; it serves as a source of ongoing anxiety that can erode well-being over time. This scenario underscores the importance of training and discipline not only for the pets but also for the peace of mind of those living with them. The Reddit thread highlights how the lack of structure within the home can lead to feelings of frustration and helplessness, making it essential to recognize the emotional toll this dynamic can take.

They discuss their struggles, expressing dissatisfaction with their mom's lack of training for the dogs, and feel it's unfair that she lives like that.

They discuss their struggles, expressing dissatisfaction with their mom's lack of training for the dogs, and feel it's unfair that she lives like that.
isobelgoudie

People immediately expressed concern for the mother and suggested seeking help.

People immediately expressed concern for the mother and suggested seeking help.
Kcco412

One comment noted that regardless of the circumstances, this would be a stressful situation, and then suggested training the dogs themselves.

One comment noted that regardless of the circumstances, this would be a stressful situation, and then suggested training the dogs themselves.
consectariana

Once the dogs keep going inside, the house stops feeling like home and starts feeling like an accident waiting to happen.

Moreover, the psychological principle of learned helplessness suggests that individuals who feel they have no control over their environment may experience diminished motivation to enact change.

Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward reclaiming a sense of agency.

Studies in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology show that environments filled with unpredictability can exacerbate feelings of helplessness and anxiety.

When home life becomes chaotic due to untrained pets, individuals may feel overwhelmed, leading to potential conflicts in relationships.

This highlights the importance of establishing structure and training within the home environment.

It’s giving the same “poop everywhere” panic as the Redditor judged for not cleaning up after her grandmother’s six dogs.

Another comment suggested that they train the dogs themselves, acknowledging that it's definitely a problem and that many wouldn't be able to handle living like this.

Another comment suggested that they train the dogs themselves, acknowledging that it's definitely a problem and that many wouldn't be able to handle living like this.
AgentAlpo

Agreed; honestly, even if they weren't living with their mother, she should still address this situation.

Agreed; honestly, even if they weren't living with their mother, she should still address this situation.
_tbo_

Someone asked for more information, and in response, they provided additional details about how things have been going.

Someone asked for more information, and in response, they provided additional details about how things have been going.
medium_buffalo_wings

People jump in fast, some concerned about the mom, others basically saying, “Sure, but train the dogs,” which only adds more pressure to OP.

Communicating Needs in Shared Spaces

Effective communication is vital in shared living situations, particularly when addressing issues related to pet training.

Coping Strategies for Living with Untrained Pets

Research shows that engaging in training not only benefits the pets but also fosters a sense of control and accomplishment in the owner.

Setting aside dedicated time for training can enhance the bond between the owner and the dog, reducing overall tension.

This person suggests making a change, whether that's moving out, speaking up, or even taking on the training themselves.

This person suggests making a change, whether that's moving out, speaking up, or even taking on the training themselves.
TheFireOfPrometheus

This person is offering suggestions, but they seem ineffective in their situation. They then wonder about any unmentioned roommates who could help.

This person is offering suggestions, but they seem ineffective in their situation. They then wonder about any unmentioned roommates who could help.
Mizu005

I agree that anyone would be upset about this. OP isn't unreasonable for feeling this way.

I agree that anyone would be upset about this. OP isn't unreasonable for feeling this way.
justmeat23

OP tries to explain why it feels unfair, and that’s when the learned-helplessness vibe kicks in, like everyone’s stuck in the same cycle.</p>

Research in behavioral psychology emphasizes the importance of setting expectations in shared environments.

From a cognitive-behavioral perspective, addressing feelings of frustration through positive reinforcement strategies can lead to healthier coping mechanisms.

Studies have shown that individuals who practice positive reinforcement not only improve their pets' behavior but also reduce their own stress levels.

This approach can transform the experience of living with untrained pets into a more manageable situation.

This situation is quite unfortunate, and we wouldn't expect anyone to be okay with living in such circumstances. However, most comments point to alternative solutions, such as OP training the dog, finding someone else to do it, or even getting their mom help for this situation, as it could be worse than they think.

OP is certainly in a difficult spot.

Research suggests that our emotional responses to stress can often be traced back to earlier experiences and attachment styles.

For individuals who grew up in chaotic environments, the presence of untrained pets may trigger unresolved feelings of anxiety or fear.

Recognizing these patterns can be the first step in addressing emotional responses and developing healthier coping strategies.

The Redditor's struggle with their mother’s untrained dogs highlights the psychological toll of cohabiting with unruly pets.

The challenges of cohabitating with untrained dogs are vividly illustrated in this Reddit post.

OP might not be overreacting, but they are definitely living in the wrong kind of routine.

Also wild, check out the woman who refused to let her mother get a puppy in her house.

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