Instead of Being Nice to Their Dogs, These People Decided to Roast the Hell Out of Them
Dogs can be lovable, loyal, and completely ridiculous, sometimes all at once. That is part of the charm, even when they are being little troublemakers.
In this story, Twitter user @drewmagary noticed that people are usually far too sweet when talking about their dogs online, so he invited everyone to roast their pets behind their backs. The result is a stream of petty, funny, and oddly affectionate insults that only dog owners could get away with.
Some of these dogs are getting dragged harder than they probably deserve, and that is exactly why it works.
Here's the original Tweet:
The roast session starts off exactly as petty as promised.
1. His job is to be cute; leave him alone.
2. Dogs take barking at random children very seriously.
3. He's furious.
4. He has superpowers.
Every dog in this thread somehow sounds both offended and guilty.
5. He has his priorities straight.
6. So accomplished.
7. Such a baby.
8. Food is life.
The insults only get more specific from here.
This feels like the same “neighbor’s barking dog” problem, where concerned people gave blunt advice.
9. He's still a pupper.
10. He looks guilty.
11. Aren't we all like this?
12. They own that couch now.
By the end, the dogs have been dragged, but only in the most affectionate way possible.
13. "Thank you, hooman slave."
14. Don't ruin the mood.
May every dog remain blissfully unaware of its online roast.
For another dog-delivery meltdown, see how Redditor shut down an entitled demand to drive 40 minutes.
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