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Online Users Share 40+ Rules Their Cats Have Established At Home

Damjan
by Damjan
16 Aug 2023

Reddit thread after Reddit thread, cat owners keep admitting the same thing, their homes do not run on human rules. By 10 pm, one OP is already in bed with the TV and their cat, because if they do not, their “old tom” gets upset and demands affection like it is part of the nightly schedule.

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And it gets weirder fast. Another user says the cat must sit as close to their face as possible, ideally on it, even if it means the human cannot breathe. Then there is the bathroom policy, leave the door open, no privacy, and one commenter basically shrugs because with three cats and a dog, closing the door is pointless.

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By the time you reach the food-bowl “face-sized hole” rule and the bed-making “help,” you realize these are not quirks, they are a full-on takeover plan.

1. "By 10 pm, I'm usually in bed with TV and my cat. If not, my old tom cat gets upset. He's deeply bonded to me, possibly due to past trauma, and demands affection."

1. "By 10 pm, I'm usually in bed with TV and my cat. If not, my old tom cat gets upset. He's deeply bonded to me, possibly due to past trauma, and demands affection."
Opandemonium
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2. "They must sit as close to my face as possible, preferably on my face. My inability to breathe is my problem."

2. "They must sit as close to my face as possible, preferably on my face. My inability to breathe is my problem."
TeikaDunmora

3. "Leave the door open, you don't need privacy in the toilet."

BloodAngel85 replied:

"I have 3 cats and a dog, I don't even bother closing the door anymore."

3. "Leave the door open, you don't need privacy in the toilet."
Persiandude73

The dynamics of pet ownership reveal much about human behavior and emotional well-being, particularly in the context of feline companions. As seen in the shared experiences of online users, the notion that cats simply coexist with their owners is a misleading one. Instead, these creatures establish their own set of rules that dictate the household environment.

Online anecdotes highlight how cat owners often adjust their daily routines based on their pets' preferences, from designated seating areas to specific feeding schedules. This adaptation not only reflects the strong emotional bonds formed between humans and their feline friends but also underscores the cats' ability to influence human behavior significantly. The resulting 'rules' are not just whimsical quirks but rather reflections of the mutual relationship built on companionship and understanding.

The article highlights an interesting dynamic in the human-feline relationship, particularly in how cats assert their own rules within the household. While many may view pet ownership as a one-sided arrangement, the shared experiences of online users reveal that cats actively shape their environments to establish a sense of security and predictability.

This mutual influence underscores the significant role pets play in enhancing human well-being.

4. "Bed making will always include at least one cat jumping on the bed to 'help'.

4. "Bed making will always include at least one cat jumping on the bed to 'help'.
Honkey_Cat

5. "If there is a face-sized hole in the center of the food bowl, the bowl is effectively empty."

5. "If there is a face-sized hole in the center of the food bowl, the bowl is effectively empty."
dartmanx

6. "If you do anything to my poop box, I must immediately rechristen it."

6. "If you do anything to my poop box, I must immediately rechristen it."
Taddare

Animal behavior studies show that pets can develop specific routines that owners feel compelled to follow, creating a unique dynamic in the household.

This reflects the human tendency to adapt behaviors based on the needs and preferences of their companions, which is particularly pronounced with pets.

Behavioral psychology suggests that pet owners often adapt their behaviors based on their pets' preferences, demonstrating a unique form of social learning.

This dynamic underscores the importance of understanding animal behavior to improve owner-pet relationships.

7. "After sleeping, changing the sleep position will not be tolerated."

meech7607 replied:

"My cat used to sleep in the valley that's made by the blanket between your legs. One night I was in that twilight almost asleep phase and he was sleeping down there, and I didn't realize it. I rolled over and catapulted him off of the bed."

7. "After sleeping, changing the sleep position will not be tolerated."
root_su

8. "You can touch but don't touch."

8. "You can touch but don't touch."
victoria-n

9. "I must be in every room you are. I will claw at the door and carpet if I am not allowed in. Do not follow me around. I want my space."

DOTHETHING_ replied:

"Cat must have the option of being in any room you are in. Will check stuff out then leave immediately. If you close the door then the cycle repeats."

9. "I must be in every room you are. I will claw at the door and carpet if I am not allowed in. Do not follow me around. I want my space."
thecalmninja

That first night routine, OP in bed with the TV and the cat, is where the whole “my house runs on their schedule” vibe kicks in.

The bond between humans and animals is rooted in emotional attachment, which can lead to complex behavioral patterns.

Studies indicate that pet owners often anthropomorphize their animals, attributing human-like traits to them, which strengthens the bond.

This can lead to an array of 'rules' that reflect the owner's perceptions and emotional connections with their pets.

Cats and Their Unique Social Dynamics

Cats possess distinct social structures that inform their interactions with humans and other animals.

10. "Clean laundry will be considered as a bed."

10. "Clean laundry will be considered as a bed."
root_su

11. "Let her in. Let her out. Let her in. Let her out.

BillohRly asked:

"Have you tried letting her out? And then let her in? And then letting her out and then letting her..."

11. "Let her in. Let her out. Let her in. Let her out.
sparrow5

12. "Are you beginning to fall asleep? Then I must run wide open from one end of the house to the other at least four times. The galloping sound will help you sleep."

12. "Are you beginning to fall asleep? Then I must run wide open from one end of the house to the other at least four times. The galloping sound will help you sleep."
ZigguratofDoom

For example, setting specific times for play or training can help create a structured environment that benefits both parties.

This not only enhances the pet's well-being but also fosters a more harmonious living situation.

To effectively respond to their cats' needs, owners can benefit from observing and interpreting their pets' behaviors more closely.

Training techniques that reinforce positive behaviors can help establish a more cooperative relationship.

Additionally, creating a stimulating environment tailored to a cat's preferences can promote their well-being and reduce behavioral issues.

13. "Going to the bathroom? Need to drink from the faucet. Walk past the bathroom? Need faucet water. Make eye contact? Need faucet water."

13. "Going to the bathroom? Need to drink from the faucet. Walk past the bathroom? Need faucet water. Make eye contact? Need faucet water."
KAL3434

14. "No placing of hands or feet outside of blankets."

soitsmydayoff replied:

"To add onto this, no sudden movements underneath the blanket, or else it's fair game."

14. "No placing of hands or feet outside of blankets."
D_B_R

15. "Cats get the spot on the bed that they want, dogs may have the leftovers."

15. "Cats get the spot on the bed that they want, dogs may have the leftovers."
LiterallyOuttoLunch

The next leap is the face-on-the-face situation, because “my inability to breathe is my problem” is not a suggestion, it is a policy.

Routine plays a critical role in the lives of both pets and their owners.

The Psychological Benefits of Pets

Pets provide emotional support and companionship, which can be particularly beneficial in reducing feelings of isolation.

This highlights the importance of fostering healthy human-animal relationships for overall well-being.

16. "You may attempt to knit/sew, but I will be attacking the wool every five seconds. Extreme knitting."

16. "You may attempt to knit/sew, but I will be attacking the wool every five seconds. Extreme knitting."
scribblefrog

17. "Any uncovered food will be licked."

17. "Any uncovered food will be licked."
scribblefrog

18. "I am more important than Game of Thrones. To illustrate this point, I will frequently stand on the coffee table, directly in your line of sight to the television."

18. "I am more important than Game of Thrones. To illustrate this point, I will frequently stand on the coffee table, directly in your line of sight to the television."
spunkychickpea

Encouraging pet owners to reflect on their routines can lead to the establishment of healthier habits.

This chaos is in the same spirit as the odd little cat tricks people swear actually work.

Encouraging shared activities between pets and their owners can strengthen their bond.

Activities such as interactive play or training sessions can promote engagement and establish mutual understanding.

These shared experiences can enhance emotional connections and create a more satisfying companionship.

19. "The 40kg dog must at all times display submissive behavior towards the cat unless he wishes nails in her b*tt."

19. "The 40kg dog must at all times display submissive behavior towards the cat unless he wishes nails in her b*tt."
NeedsMoreBlood

20. "I want food right now but I will eat later."

BloodAngel85 replied:

"For my male cat, it's 'I want food now, but I'll only eat a small amount and come back expecting to be there 5 minutes later.' Unfortunately, his 2 sisters are pigs when it comes to food, so he just meows at me for more."

20. "I want food right now but I will eat later."
victoria-n

21. "Christmas is for us. Christmas trees are exclusively for us."

21. "Christmas is for us. Christmas trees are exclusively for us."
MisterShine

Pet Ownership and Emotional Regulation

Pets can significantly aid in emotional regulation, providing comfort and companionship during stressful times.

Pets as Family Members

As pets increasingly become part of the family unit, understanding their needs becomes paramount.

22. "If you do not maintain visual contact with cheese products at all times you agree to forfeit your right to finish eating said cheese products."

22. "If you do not maintain visual contact with cheese products at all times you agree to forfeit your right to finish eating said cheese products."
purpleRN

23. "Once your alarm goes off, it's cuddle time. Oh, you want to go back to sleep? Then you'll have to do so with 11 lbs of Bogart on your chest."

23. "Once your alarm goes off, it's cuddle time. Oh, you want to go back to sleep? Then you'll have to do so with 11 lbs of Bogart on your chest."
TheWizard01

24. "If your lap is empty, it is fair game."

24. "If your lap is empty, it is fair game."
scribblefrog

Once the bathroom door becomes public property, it explains why the commenter with three cats and a dog does not even bother closing it anymore.

To enhance emotional regulation through pet ownership, it may be beneficial to create spaces that allow for quality time with pets.

Setting aside time for activities that foster connection, such as cuddling or training, can deepen the bond and enhance overall emotional well-being.

This approach not only benefits the pet but enriches the owner's emotional experience as well.

25. Please...

25. Please...
friday6700

26. "The fridge is a paradise. Don't quite know why they like it in there either."

26. "The fridge is a paradise. Don't quite know why they like it in there either."
livingblissfully

27. "All showers must be supervised from in between the shower curtains. No exceptions. Sometimes even on top."

27. "All showers must be supervised from in between the shower curtains. No exceptions. Sometimes even on top."
VenomC

28. "If they meow in the middle of the night, I must respond immediately (or else be hit in the face with their sharp claws)."

28. "If they meow in the middle of the night, I must respond immediately (or else be hit in the face with their sharp claws)."
TeikaDunmora

29. " All rugs are mine."

29. " All rugs are mine."
pumpmar

30. Water must be consistently clean and full.

30. Water must be consistently clean and full.
pumpmar

31. Awake? Feed me, regardless of time.

31. Awake? Feed me, regardless of time.
reddit.com

32. "All food is subject to taste testing."

32. "All food is subject to taste testing."
VenomC

33. Turning off lights = cat's signal for play/war; expect leg attacks.

33. Turning off lights = cat's signal for play/war; expect leg attacks.
PegaKing

34. "The toys I played with yesterday must be replaced with brand new, different toys today."

34. "The toys I played with yesterday must be replaced with brand new, different toys today."
WallyPlumstead

35. "Glass items go on the floor."

35. "Glass items go on the floor."
DeLaNope

36. Dogs avoid cat toys; cats use both.

36. Dogs avoid cat toys; cats use both.
LiterallyOuttoLunch

37. "Cat goes to the left of the laptop, blocking the vent."

37. "Cat goes to the left of the laptop, blocking the vent."
DeLaNope

38. Door spring serves as an alarm.

38. Door spring serves as an alarm.
Taddare

39. "We will climb up your curtains and ruin them."

39. "We will climb up your curtains and ruin them."
sugarydoring

40. "Any accessible bread products will be destroyed (not eaten, just shredded)."

BrutalHonestyBuffalo replied:

"My cats don't destroy bread - but for whatever reason, if we leave a bread product unattended - you can be sure there will be one giant bite taken out of it. Plastic/paper and all."

40. "Any accessible bread products will be destroyed (not eaten, just shredded)."
TeikaDunmora

41. "Cats eat before dogs."

41. "Cats eat before dogs."
LiterallyOuttoLunch

42. "The picnic bench in the garden is my territory. If you are eating lunch out there, you must first appease me with tidbits."

42. "The picnic bench in the garden is my territory. If you are eating lunch out there, you must first appease me with tidbits."
scribblefrog

43. "Your food is mine to judge, but I'll likely reject it."

43. "Your food is mine to judge, but I'll likely reject it."
spunkychickpea

44. "I will stay off the left side of the counter as long as you let me sit next to the microwave and stare at the food."

44. "I will stay off the left side of the counter as long as you let me sit next to the microwave and stare at the food."
scribblefrog

45. "Give me the last piece of your vegemite toast."

45. "Give me the last piece of your vegemite toast."
reddit.com

46. "Hide behind desk."

46. "Hide behind desk."
absurded

And then the thread hits the practical stuff, bed-making “help,” the bowl that counts as empty if there is a face-sized hole, and the poop box rules that get treated like sacred territory.

The illusion that we control the rules in a household shared with a cat is shattered by the reality of feline dominance, as evident in the shared Reddit stories. These anecdotes humorously emphasize that it's the cats who dictate the terms.

Exploring these narratives enriches the understanding of "my house, my cat, my rules." If these tales don't dampen your enthusiasm for cats, you're ready to wholeheartedly embrace feline companionship.

The interactions between humans and their feline companions reveal a complex tapestry of emotional bonds that go beyond mere cohabitation. The article highlights how cat owners humorously share the unwritten rules their cats impose, illustrating that these pets often dictate the terms of their living arrangements.

Recognizing and honoring the preferences of our cats not only leads to a more harmonious household but also enriches the overall experience of pet ownership. This interplay between human and animal needs is essential for nurturing a fulfilling relationship, demonstrating that when we adapt to our cats' whims, both parties thrive.

The dynamics between cats and their owners reveal a fascinating interplay of power and affection. As highlighted in the shared experiences of cat owners, these pets often establish their own set of rules, redefining the traditional owner-pet hierarchy. This insight underscores the importance of recognizing and adapting to the unique behaviors and preferences of cats.

By acknowledging the 'rules' that cats impose, such as the insistence on certain sleeping spots or the demand for attention at specific times, owners can create a more harmonious living arrangement. Embracing these feline quirks not only enhances the bond between pet and owner but also contributes significantly to the emotional well-being of both parties.

Nobody moves the goalposts in this house, the cats already set the rules.

For more “my cat won’t let me breathe” bedtime rules, see the 15+ situations you only get with a feline friend.

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