Husband Finds Out the Truth About His Dog Running Away Five Years Earlier - His Wife and Father-in-Law Surrendered It to the Shelter While He Was at Work
A father of three contemplated separating from his wife when he discovered she had lied about his dog running away. OP had the dog even before he married his wife.
OP loved his dog, as she was his best friend. When his wife became pregnant, she became convinced that OP's dog posed a threat to their baby.
She wanted to rehome the dog, but OP refused. His wife argued that despite her training, his dog was from an aggressive breed.
It was an impasse neither was willing to budge from. One day, OP received a heartbreaking call from his crying wife, informing him that his dog had run away and that she couldn't chase after her.
OP took his wife's words at face value. He spent weeks searching for his dog but eventually accepted that she was beyond his reach.
He also had to shift his focus when his wife gave birth. It has been five years since OP's dog ran away.
He and his wife now have three children. OP wanted to get a new dog for a while, but raising three kids took a lot of time and energy.
His wife provided reasons why they shouldn't. OP also discovered the truth about what happened when his dog "ran away" all those years ago.
His wife and father-in-law surrendered his dog to a pound while OP was at work.

They all agreed that the dog could be dangerous once the baby arrived. OP was furious.

He wanted to divorce his wife if not for their children. OP told his wife she could make up for it if they adopted another dog. His wife doesn't want a pet at all.

The Emotional Impact of Pet Loss
Pet loss can trigger profound grief, akin to losing a family member, as highlighted by research in the Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science.
Studies indicate that the bond between pets and their owners is often deep, serving as a source of unconditional love and companionship.
Understanding the psychological implications of this bond can help individuals navigate their grief more effectively.
Redditors were clear about what they wanted OP to do.

OP's wife watched him distraught over his missing dog. She lied to his face while he searched for a dog she knew was in a pound.

His wife hurt him in a real way by taking a dog that he loved. She then lied to him for five years and didn't even seem apologetic about it.

The circumstances surrounding the surrender of a pet often complicate the grieving process, leading to feelings of betrayal and anger.
Research suggests that unresolved guilt and shame can hinder the healing journey, making it crucial for individuals to address these emotions openly.
Recognizing the validity of these feelings can foster a healthier grieving process.
Is there any trust left between them? How can a relationship work without that foundation?

The real threat is his wife and in-laws.

OP needs to protect his children from the influence of people like them.

The Importance of Communication in Relationships
This situation underscores the critical role of communication in relationships, particularly regarding shared responsibilities and decision-making.
Studies from the Journal of Marriage and Family highlight that couples who engage in open discussions about their pets report higher relationship satisfaction.
Establishing clear communication channels can prevent misunderstandings and build trust.
Partners who have your best interests at heart wouldn't even think about doing what OP's wife did. She cried crocodile tears and convinced OP she was just as heartbroken as he was.

She could have given the dog to a deserving owner instead of dropping her off at a random pound where she wouldn't easily find a new home.

The last thing on OP's priority list should be getting a dog with his wife.

One actionable strategy for couples is to create a joint plan for pet care that outlines responsibilities and expectations.
Research suggests that collaborative approaches to pet ownership can enhance relationship satisfaction and reduce conflicts.
Regular check-ins regarding pet care can also foster a sense of teamwork and shared responsibility.
She clearly cannot be trusted to care for animals. Why would you want to adopt a dog with someone who didn't hesitate to surrender your last dog to a random dog pound?
OP needs to be honest when he asks himself if he can still trust his wife. Growing up with separated parents is better than living with parents who resent each other.
Psychological Analysis
This situation highlights how vital communication is in relationships, particularly when it comes to shared responsibilities and emotional investments.
Understanding the nuances of pet ownership can foster deeper connections and prevent future misunderstandings.
Analysis generated by AI
Analysis & Alternative Approaches
The emotional complexities surrounding pet ownership and loss reveal important insights into relationship dynamics. According to Dr. Alexandra Solomon, relationship therapist, "Understanding the emotional ties we have with our pets can illuminate deeper issues in our relationships." She emphasizes that fostering communication and empathy can help mitigate feelings of regret and promote healing. By addressing these emotions openly, individuals can navigate the complexities of their relationships more effectively.