These People Have Very Important Questions To Ask Their Feline Friends And We All Want To Know The Answers
Cat people know the feeling, one tiny habit from a feline can turn into a full-blown mystery. Why does a cat sit in the weirdest possible spot, stare at nothing, or act personally offended by a cucumber?
This roundup pulls together a bunch of those classic cat questions, along with the kind of answers people give when they are half serious and fully amused. From strange sleeping spots to dramatic reactions, the comments show just how little humans really understand their pets.
The questions get sillier, the replies get sharper, and the cats somehow still come out looking like they are in charge. Read on.
1. Like, can you please go and brush your teeth already!
2. We don't know!
Cats really do inspire the most specific complaints.
3. All I know is that cats love lying on the weirdest things.
4. Because they are undercover assassins.

That theory is doing a lot of work here.
5. They don't like the floor; it's for peasants, and they are your highness.
6. Sneezing is a crime you should be punished for by being pawed.
7. I know! Because it looks like a snake.
8. They love teasing humans.

9. Because they get cold?
10. They are security guards for the poop.
Some of these answers are more confident than helpful.
11. Apparently, they have too much energy they need to get rid of.
And if you need a palate cleanser after all those “security guard for the poop” jokes, check out these 50 close-up photos of cats that turn any frown upside down.
12. Yeah, I don't have an answer for this one.

13. They are jealous of the book.
14. Because screw school!
15. Nope! They say it tastes different because it comes in new, smart packaging.
16. You clearly have not crossed paths with an evil fur thing.

17. It sparkles, duh!
18. You are supposed to know this; this can be Googled.
19. They know it's hard to clean up.
20. Then don't buy a cat, because they all sound like that!

The comments are getting more dramatic by the minute.
21. They are showing you love, you idiot.
22. We have all been asking this question since the beginning of cats.
23. Because, wiggle wiggle?
24. I assume they want to play fight.

25. They purr when they enjoy something, just like us making noises!
26. Why do we look like loaves of bread when we get fat? Same question.
27. They are eager to start their day.
28. Why do humans rub against one another? For attention!

29. They just are.
And somehow, that still feels like the most believable answer.
Want more cat conspiracy energy, like the “alien invaders” science claim from these keyboard-nappers? Read this next.