One rooster was all it took to turn a normal morning into a full-blown meltdown, and Denell McCaul made sure everyone knew exactly how she felt about it.
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What started as a pet decision quickly became a noisy, sleep-stealing disaster, with Denell posting a brutally funny Facebook rant about the bird she wanted gone as fast as possible. Her post is blunt, chaotic, and very much not safe for work, but it also captures the kind of regret that only comes after bringing home the wrong animal.
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By the time she was done, the rooster had become a viral cautionary tale with feathers. Read on.
If Denell were a rooster, this is how angry she would look.Shutterstock
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In her own humorous yet poignant way, Denell captures this sentiment:
FREE to a good home. Well, any home really. At this point, I don’t give a shit what kind of home this inconsiderate jerk goes to: ASSHOLE ROOSTER. He’s the perfect rooster if your alarm is broken and you need to be awake at 5:30 a.m. That is his only setting: 5:30…
And that's definitely not where the rant ended...
The rant only got more unhinged from there.
Not everyone appreciates a 'cock-clock.'HK Sculptures
The great offender himself.Facebook
Denell continued...
He has no snooze button but will be quiet just long enough for you to fall back asleep, and then he’ll start back up with his obnoxious cock-a-doodle-doing right outside your windows. It’s like he knows where you sleep and can zone in on that particular window, so maybe he has some sort of special x-ray vision that allows him to see sleeping people behind walls. He is also a perfect rooster if you want to start running… around your yard… while you’re trying to get away from him.
…So, if you’re looking for an alarm clock with the only setting being 5:30 a.m., a personal trainer, and a dance instructor, I have the perfect rooster that can fill all three of those positions FOR FREE! But you’re coming out to catch this asshole; I want to see your first interpretive dance lesson.
I don't know about you, but this rooster seems pretty awesome. I'd adopt him in a heartbeat! Less-than-perfect animals are always being dumped on the street or in shelters. For example, these cats are FAR from perfect, but they still found a beautiful, loving home despite their very obvious flaws.
