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Worried Dog Parent Asks If She's An A**hole For Refusing To Give Her Dog Of Eight Years Back To Its Original Owner

Elana
by Elana
29 Oct 2023

Adopting a pet is a lifetime commitment and not one to be taken lightly. So, when Reddit user u/Grace2098 decided to adopt a pup from her friend's coworker, she wasn't expecting to be asked to return the dog years later.

The Redditor explained that, around eight years ago, her friend's coworker was looking for someone to take in a pup because she was having some issues at home and had just had a baby. The dog was perfect for the OP and her family, so she agreed to adopt her without question.

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The sweet dog became a beautiful part of the OP's family and has been through a lot with them. The family is attached to her, and she is very protective of them.

The OP says she has often suspected that the dog was abused in her previous home, as she seems to be afraid of certain things and doesn't like sudden movements. Fast forward to now, and the dog's previous owner is asking for her back!

She told the OP that her child is now old enough for a dog, so she wants to take her back. Of course, the OP and her family refused to give up their beloved family member.

After all, they did not sign up to foster the dog - they adopted her. And there was no way the OP was going to hand the dog over to someone who gave her up so easily in the past.

Now the previous owner is demanding the OP give the dog back. Keep scrolling to see how people reacted.

The Redditor asked if she's an a**hole for refusing to give up her dog.

The Redditor asked if she's an a**hole for refusing to give up her dog.
Reddit/Grace2098
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She explained that, around eight years ago, her friend's coworker was looking for someone to adopt her dog.

She explained that, around eight years ago, her friend's coworker was looking for someone to adopt her dog.
Reddit/Grace2098

The dog was perfect for the OP and her family, so she agreed to adopt her without question.

The dog was perfect for the OP and her family, so she agreed to adopt her without question.
Reddit/Grace2098

Navigating Emotional Attachment and Ownership

This situation raises significant questions about emotional attachment, particularly the bond between a pet and its owner.

Research by Dr. John Archer emphasizes that pets often fulfill deep emotional needs, serving as companions that provide unconditional love and support.

When a pet is involved, the psychological constructs of ownership become complex, as emotional ties can outweigh legal or logistical considerations.

The sweet dog became a beautiful part of the OP's family and has been through a lot with them.

The sweet dog became a beautiful part of the OP's family and has been through a lot with them.
Reddit/Grace2098
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The OP says she has often suspected that the dog was abused in her previous home.

The OP says she has often suspected that the dog was abused in her previous home.
Reddit/Grace2098

Now the dog's previous owner is asking for her back.

Now the dog's previous owner is asking for her back.
Reddit/Grace2098

According to studies in the Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science, the bonds people form with their pets can lead to profound emotional responses, especially in situations of separation.

This can create a sense of betrayal or guilt when faced with the prospect of returning a pet, highlighting the psychological difficulty of relinquishing such a deep bond.

Naturally, the OP and her family refused to give up their beloved family member.

Naturally, the OP and her family refused to give up their beloved family member.
Reddit/Grace2098
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After all, they did not sign up to foster the dog - they adopted her.

After all, they did not sign up to foster the dog - they adopted her.
Reddit/Grace2098

Now the previous owner is demanding the OP give the dog back.

Now the previous owner is demanding the OP give the dog back.
Reddit/Grace2098

The Ethics of Reclaiming Pets

The ethical considerations surrounding pet ownership are significant, particularly when a pet has been with a family for many years.

Dr. Peter Sandøe from the University of Copenhagen argues that the emotional well-being of both the pet and the owner must be prioritized, as animals are sentient beings capable of forming attachments.

This underscores the importance of considering the pet's perspective in ownership disputes, as their well-being is intrinsically linked to the emotional state of their caregivers.

Here's how people reacted.

Here's how people reacted.
Reddit/JMarie113
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She should live out her life with her family.

She should live out her life with her family.
Reddit/Bluefoot44

Ask if she'll pay you back for eight years worth of food and vet bills.

Ask if she'll pay you back for eight years worth of food and vet bills.
Reddit/LogicalTexts

Conflict resolution strategies in this context can benefit greatly from communication and empathy.

Utilizing techniques like active listening and expressing feelings can help both parties navigate their emotions and find a solution that honors the bond with the pet while addressing ownership concerns.

Research highlights that mediation can facilitate understanding, allowing for a more compassionate resolution that acknowledges the emotional stakes involved.

"That's YOUR dog!"

Reddit/Remember1959

"Stand your ground."

Reddit/IamLuann

Can't she just get another dog?

Can't she just get another dog?
Reddit/DrummerDerek83

Practical Strategies for Pet Custody Disputes

In situations where emotional attachments are strong, a structured approach can help ease tensions.

Establishing clear communication paths and setting up mediation sessions can provide a safe space for both parties.

Dr. Marsha Linehan’s research into interpersonal effectiveness emphasizes the need for clarity in expressing needs and feelings, suggesting that a collaborative approach can lead to more satisfactory outcomes for all involved.

Eight years is a lifetime!

Eight years is a lifetime!
Reddit/Gibonius

"If she had a temporary placement in mind, it wouldn't have been eight years."

Reddit/nylonvest

"Come on!"

Reddit/FarStrategy5605

"Hell no!"

Reddit/FloMoJoeBlow

"You saved that pup."

Reddit/kaeighty

"Eight years is way too long to be asking for the dog back."

Reddit/jacksonlove3

What are your thoughts on this situation. Do you think the OP should give the dog back, or is the previous owner out of line for thinking she has the right to demand the pet back?

We would love to hear your opinions on this. You can share your thoughts with us in the comment section.

Expert Opinion

This scenario reflects the deep emotional bonds that people can form with their pets, often leading to difficult decisions when faced with conflicting loyalties.

From a psychological standpoint, the attachment to a pet can mirror early childhood relationships, making these situations particularly charged and emotional.

Expert
Dr Anvi Patel
Psychologist

Analysis & Alternative Approaches

The complexities of emotional attachment to pets highlight the need for empathy and understanding in ownership disputes.

As research consistently demonstrates, addressing emotional needs often leads to healthier resolutions and can prevent long-term psychological distress.

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