Dad Remarries, Moves His Family In Together — Then His Stepson’s Severe Allergy Forces Heartbreaking Decision
A widower remarries, moves his new wife in, and thinks the hardest part is already behind him, until his stepson’s allergy turns their home into a ticking time bomb.
OP’s daughter has Basil, a sweet, litter-trained rabbit who lives like a tiny roommate, with a ramp to her bed and supervised free-roaming around the house. But the moment OP’s stepson walks past the daughter’s room, his eyes swell and his throat starts to close. Despite moving the couple into a hotel and trying cleaning and restrictions, nothing makes it safe.
Now OP has to tell his daughter to move Basil outside, and the fallout is uglier than anyone expected.
The OP’s daughter has a beloved rabbit that follows her everywhere.
Original Post
I am a widower. My first wife passed away 6 years ago from cancer. A few years after she passed, I reconnected with a former girlfriend of mine (We ended the relationship amicably, but lost touch over the years). We started dating again, albeit long-distance, and we married this past January and moved in together this February.There has been a major hiccup in all of this though. My daughter has a pet rabbit, she has had him for almost 5 years now. His name is Basil. Basil lives in my daughter's room and currently enjoys a lot of space: we converted her walk-in closet into a bunny pad, he is litter trained and she often lets him run around the house supervised. He honestly is more like a cat than what you would think a pet rabbit would be like.She has a little ramp for him to get on and off her bed and he will follow her around the house and everything. Unfortunately, it seems my stepson is *highly* allergic to rabbits. It seems to be a pretty severe allergy. We've gone to doctors to try medicine, we tried banning Basil from the common areas of the house and had everything professionally cleaned. No dice on any of it. Just walking down the hallway past my daughter's room causes my stepson's eyes to swell and his throat start to close.My stepson and wife are currently living in a hotel until we can make the house safe for him. I told my daughter we will have to move Basil outside because him living indoors just isn't safe for her stepbrother. She is, understandably, very upset about this. I've tried to involve her in picking out and building an appropriate setup for Basil but she absolutely refuses to do so. She is mostly not talking to me, and when she is it is screaming, crying, and saying every hurtful thing she can think up towards me. AITA?EDIT: Hindsight is 20-20. I definitely see now that we should have made more of an effort to bring stepson here before the official move in. Unfortunately it wasn't an option for most of our relationship. My wife's ex would not allow it. He lost his parental rights last year and that's when we decided we could finally move in together. I'm definitely a bit of a dumbass for that one. I accept that. My stepson's allergies weren't super severe right off the bat.The first few days he was here, he was mildly stuffy. Then they progressed and became quite severe after 2-3 weeks living here. Whenever we traveled to them, we always went with freshly laundered clothes and I assume that's why he didn't react to dander on us before when we visited. It seems the constant exposure of living with the rabbit exasperated the situation. It is not an option for my daughter to live with grandparents or other family.Unfortunately, it is also not going to be feasible for us to purchase a second home or rent an apartment for my wife and son. They are in a hotel for a few weeks while I get the rabbit situation sorted and bring the cleaners back out. So, I fu**ed up. But what's done is done now.My wife and stepson are family too and I have to do right by them as well as my daughter. I am converting a shed we have on the property to a bunny barn. I'm working on getting it insulated and refinished. I will have electricity run out to it so it can be climate controlled. My wife is actually helping to finance the conversion. We all love each other and want to make this work.Edit 2: Seriously guys. I am NOT divorcing my wife over this. That is in no way shape or form an option.
Here’s how the Reddit community reacted.
“How much more does your child have to lose?”
This should be a last resort.
YTA.
“You and your wife handled this terribly.”
Your daughter deserves to be prioritized.
This is only adding to her trauma.
It’s a similar kind of pressure to the ex demanding all the pets be rehomed because his son might be allergic.
“That’s your daughter’s everything.”
You will stress out your daughter and the bunny.
NAH.
Didn’t they ever visit before you got married?
“You’re choosing your happiness over your daughter’s.”
ESH.
The bunny won’t survive outside.
This should have been dealt with a long time ago.
OP is still trying to settle into married life with his wife, and then the second stepson starts reacting to Basil, everything derails fast.
The daughter’s rabbit setup is basically a full bunny apartment, and that makes it feel impossible to “just keep him out” when the stepson can’t even pass the hallway.
While OP’s stepson and wife are stuck in a hotel, OP asks his daughter to help build a new Basil setup, and she refuses to cooperate at all.
When OP finally says Basil has to go outside for safety, the daughter stops talking and starts firing off brutal accusations like it’s war.
In an edit, the Redditor admitted he should have tested the living situation sooner. Unfortunately, custody issues prevented earlier visits, and the allergy worsened with prolonged exposure.
The OP says that he loves his daughter, wife, and stepson and wants to protect everyone. He is now converting a shed into a fully insulated, climate-controlled bunny barn.
He might have been trying to build a new family, but Basil is the one thing that made it impossible to keep everyone under the same roof.
For another rabbit-related family breakdown, read about the woman who refused to rehome her beloved rabbit after her stepdaughter got scratched.
Share this article:
