Dad Remarries, Moves His Family In Together — Then His Stepson’s Severe Allergy Forces Heartbreaking Decision
A Reddit user started his post by explaining that he is a widower whose first wife passed away from cancer six years ago. A few years later, he reconnected with a former girlfriend, and after long-distance dating, they married in January and moved in together in February.
The Redditor shared that he has a daughter who owns a beloved pet rabbit named Basil. Basil has lived indoors for nearly five years and has essentially become a free-roaming, litter-trained family member.
According to the OP, Basil lives primarily in the daughter’s room, complete with a converted walk-in closet and even a ramp to her bed. The rabbit follows her around the house and behaves more like a cat than a traditional small pet.
The problem began when the OP’s new wife and stepson moved in. The stepson turned out to be severely allergic to rabbits, to the point where exposure causes swollen eyes and breathing issues.
The family tried everything, including medication, professional cleaning, and banning Basil from common areas. Nothing worked, and even walking past the daughter’s bedroom caused serious reactions.
As a result, the OP’s wife and stepson are currently staying in a hotel. The OP told his daughter that Basil would need to be moved outside for her stepbrother’s safety.
Understandably, the daughter was devastated and refused to help with plans for an outdoor setup. She has since responded with anger, tears, and hurtful comments, leaving the OP questioning his choices.
The OP’s daughter has a beloved rabbit that follows her everywhere.
Here's the original post by Reddit user 'RoosterAlarmed4249'.
I am a widower. My first wife passed away 6 years ago from cancer. A few years after she passed, I reconnected with a former girlfriend of mine (We ended the relationship amicably, but lost touch over the years). We started dating again, albeit long-distance, and we married this past January and moved in together this February.
There has been a major hiccup in all of this though. My daughter has a pet rabbit, she has had him for almost 5 years now. His name is Basil. Basil lives in my daughter's room and currently enjoys a lot of space: we converted her walk-in closet into a bunny pad, he is litter trained and she often lets him run around the house supervised. He honestly is more like a cat than what you would think a pet rabbit would be like.
She has a little ramp for him to get on and off her bed and he will follow her around the house and everything. Unfortunately, it seems my stepson is *highly* allergic to rabbits. It seems to be a pretty severe allergy. We've gone to doctors to try medicine, we tried banning Basil from the common areas of the house and had everything professionally cleaned. No dice on any of it. Just walking down the hallway past my daughter's room causes my stepson's eyes to swell and his throat start to close.
My stepson and wife are currently living in a hotel until we can make the house safe for him. I told my daughter we will have to move Basil outside because him living indoors just isn't safe for her stepbrother. She is, understandably, very upset about this. I've tried to involve her in picking out and building an appropriate setup for Basil but she absolutely refuses to do so. She is mostly not talking to me, and when she is it is screaming, crying, and saying every hurtful thing she can think up towards me. AITA?
EDIT: Hindsight is 20-20. I definitely see now that we should have made more of an effort to bring stepson here before the official move in. Unfortunately it wasn't an option for most of our relationship. My wife's ex would not allow it. He lost his parental rights last year and that's when we decided we could finally move in together. I'm definitely a bit of a dumbass for that one. I accept that. My stepson's allergies weren't super severe right off the bat.
The first few days he was here, he was mildly stuffy. Then they progressed and became quite severe after 2-3 weeks living here. Whenever we traveled to them, we always went with freshly laundered clothes and I assume that's why he didn't react to dander on us before when we visited. It seems the constant exposure of living with the rabbit exasperated the situation. It is not an option for my daughter to live with grandparents or other family.
Unfortunately, it is also not going to be feasible for us to purchase a second home or rent an apartment for my wife and son. They are in a hotel for a few weeks while I get the rabbit situation sorted and bring the cleaners back out. So, I fu**ed up. But what's done is done now.
My wife and stepson are family too and I have to do right by them as well as my daughter. I am converting a shed we have on the property to a bunny barn. I'm working on getting it insulated and refinished. I will have electricity run out to it so it can be climate controlled. My wife is actually helping to finance the conversion. We all love each other and want to make this work.
Edit 2: Seriously guys. I am NOT divorcing my wife over this. That is in no way shape or form an option.
Here’s how the Reddit community reacted.
“How much more does your child have to lose?”
This should be a last resort.
YTA.
“You and your wife handled this terribly.”
Your daughter deserves to be prioritized.
This is only adding to her trauma.
“That’s your daughter’s everything.”
You will stress out your daughter and the bunny.
NAH.
Didn’t they ever visit before you got married?
“You’re choosing your happiness over your daughter’s.”
ESH.
The bunny won’t survive outside.
This should have been dealt with a long time ago.
In an edit, the Redditor admitted he should have tested the living situation sooner. Unfortunately, custody issues prevented earlier visits, and the allergy worsened with prolonged exposure.
The OP says that he loves his daughter, wife, and stepson and wants to protect everyone. He is now converting a shed into a fully insulated, climate-controlled bunny barn.
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