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10+ Wackiest and Wittiest Names That People Have Baptized Their Pets With

Sophia
by Sophia
16 Jan 2022

Some pet owners settle for cute names, but others go all in on pure chaos, and that is where this story gets funny. From cats called Bud and Weed to dogs with names like Jake Gyllenpaws, the internet has no shortage of people who treat pet naming like a comedy contest.

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This roundup pulls together a bunch of the wackiest and wittiest pet names people have shared, and the results are as ridiculous as they are clever. A few are pop culture jokes, some are oddly formal, and others sound like they wandered in from a completely different universe.

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By the end, you may start looking at your own pet's name a little differently. Read on.

1. Now, take a look at Bud and Weed—an adorable pair of domestic medium-hair black kittens!

1. Now, take a look at Bud and Weed—an adorable pair of domestic medium-hair black kittens!
Reddit
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2. Jake Gyllenpaws

Nah, this one's actually adorable. You don't have to belt out "All Too Well (Taylor's Version)."

2. Jake Gyllenpaws
Reddit

3. Mrs. World Wide and Mr. World Wide

Someone says they are dating.

3. Mrs. World Wide and Mr. World Wide
Reddit

4. Chair, Lamp, and Table

If you ever think you have run out of inspiration, just take a look around you. Maybe that's what the person who named this trio of kittens Chair, Lamp, and Table did, because let's face it, who in their right mind would name their cats after common pieces of furniture?

Good thing they are all amazingly adorable!

4. Chair, Lamp, and Table
Reddit

5. Of course, he has a sister named Waggie Gyllenhall!

5. Of course, he has a sister named Waggie Gyllenhall!
Source

6. Meet Turkey, Stuffing, Sweet Potato, and Cornbread.

This was posted by Jea and the team for Thanksgiving because they embody the spirit of the holidays. Yum!

6. Meet Turkey, Stuffing, Sweet Potato, and Cornbread.
Reddit

That naming energy only gets stranger from here.

Names like “Mrs. World Wide and Mr. World Wide” are in the same league as creative shelter pet names that put everyone else to shame.

7. Seratonin

We all desperately need serotonin, and luckily enough, this cat is literally named after it. Someone in Lowell, MA, decided to name this adorable gray cat Seratonin—and she will surely bring a lot of this hormone to her forever family's lives!

7. Seratonin
Reddit

8. Plague

He looks like he's having an existential crisis. With a name like that, you probably would, too.

Dog owner lists pet names, including Seratonin, Famine, and Mr. Toast
Reddit

9. Famine

Given her name, it's a good thing she does not look that hungry!

Pet name list continues with Seratonin and Plague, plus Mr. Toast
Source

10. Mr. Toast

He certainly isn't having it.

10. Mr. Toast
Reddit

People are obsessed with giving animals names, and it is both a blessing and a curse at the same time, depending on your perspective. Some people have even gone so far as to name their pets after the Seven Deadly Sins!

Do you know a pet with a peculiar name, or do you have one yourself? Comment with your thoughts or share this article for all your family and friends to see!

And yes, the list still has a few more gems left.

11. Girlboss

Does she have siblings named Gaslight and Gatekeep?

11. Girlboss
Reddit

12. War

All is fair in love and...?

Pet name entries include Girlboss, A Perfect Dog, and Kraft American Single
Reddit

13. A Perfect Dog

Yep, he is literally named A Perfect Dog. Who wouldn't want such a perfect little boy in their home?

This Labrador Retriever is unquestionably the epitome of perfect, and we can only hope he ends up in an equally perfect and loving home! Just look at him willingly cleaning up his own mess with a scooper.

13. A Perfect Dog
Reddit

14. Kraft American Single

Yes, everybody loves cheese, and even more so, this person who named a cat Kraft American Single. Sounds cheesy?

14. Kraft American Single
Reddit

Some pets really do end up with names that steal the whole show.

Want more laughs like “Jake Gyllenpaws”? Check out 50 cute but funny cat names that always make vets laugh.

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